The Gender Binary Is a Big Lie: Author Interview with Lee Wind

Undertake a journey to examine gender identity and representation throughout history in The Gender Binary Is a Big Lie: Infinite Identities around the World by Lee Wind. The idea that all humans fall into one of two gender categories is largely a construct created by those who benefit from that belief. Historical evidence and primary sources reveal the infinite variety and beauty of everyone’s gender.

Today author Lee Wind join’s us to reveal why he wrote this book, why it’s important, and stories yet to be told. Read on to download a free educator guide!

How did you come to write a book about it?

Two things really shocked me when I was doing research for the first book in this Queer History Project series, No Way, They Were Gay?

The first was that intersex people are as common as folks with red hair – 1.7% of people are born intersex. At the time, I knew a bunch of people with red hair, but I didn’t know anyone who was intersex. It was like seeing a whole other closet that was imposed on intersex people, parallel to the closet I had felt forced into as a gay kid.

The second shocker was learning there are at least 157 native nations in North America who had—and some still have—third (and in some cases third and fourth) gender roles. It really highlighted how the idea of gender is a social construct that is different in different communities.

Why is this important today – isn’t it all just dusty history?

No – it’s vital for us today, in particular for young people, to know that we humans have a proud legacy of gender diversity.

A 2021 study found that one out of eleven young people identify outside the gender binary*. The pushback they’re getting is fueled in large part by the lie that everyone has always only been a man or a woman. But in fact there are so many communities that have had—and still have—multiple genders beyond man and woman. And there are so many people who lived—and still live—outside the boundaries of their community’s gender norms.

Western society has all these rules about gender that can seem immutable but aren’t. Go back just 106 years and pink was the color for boys! In the US, a 1918 catalog for baby clothes explained, “The generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls. The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.”**

As part of their powerful activism to dismantle the idea that everyone has to fit within the gender binary, Alok Vaid-Menon wrote: “There are as many genders as there are people in the world.” In a way that’s giving permission to every person to be their own unique authentic self. It’s a beautiful idea, so much so that I made it the book’s epigraph.

* Lisa Selin Davis, “High Schoolers May Be More Gender-diverse Than Previously Thought, New Study Says,” CNN, May 18, 2021.

** Jeanne Maglaty, “Ask Smithsonian: When Did Girls Start Wearing Pink?,” Smithsonian, April 7, 2011.

Was it weird to work on this project since you identify as a cis man?

As a gay man, I’m the “G” represented by my Queer community’s LGBTQIA2+ acronym. And I’ve learned on my journey that my job is to be an ally to all the other groups represented in our rainbow community. And, indeed, to women, people of color, Indigenous people, disabled folks, and to everyone who’s under-represented, under-resourced, and under-valued.

My goal was almost like hosting a party of gender diverse people – centering their voices and experiences. And just like in No Way, They Were Gay? the more than 300 primary source quotes in the book are bolded, to clearly show readers what was actually said in history compared to my explanations and context.

I wrote the book as an ally to intersex, trans, genderqueer, gender questioning, gender fluid, nonbinary, and other gender diverse people. In doing the research, I was surprised at how much the false gender binary had impacted my own life—the idea that there was only one way to be a man really messed me up!

One of the biggest compliments I’ve received for the book came from an intersex advocate, who thanked me for doing the homework for those outside their community. Intersex people’s fight for self-determination is something we should all be behind, and learning how doctors came to operate on intersex babies to make their genitals fit into the idea of the gender binary is a pretty horrifying history—especially as it was based on another lie! I understand the exhaustion from always having to explain the basics of your community’s fight for equity and justice, and I’m so glad to be able to help.

How did you choose the stories and communities highlighted in The Gender Binary is a Big Lie?

I wanted to show a number of cultures that have different gender categories than the Western binary, making sure they were examples from around the world and from the beginning of recorded time to today.

Were there stories about gender diversity you didn’t get to include?

Lots. Like with much of history, the stories that have survived the sanitization of history by the people in power are not evenly distributed. Records of gender diversity for people with male bodies vastly outnumber the records of gender diversity for people with female and intersex bodies. Europe and America get much more attention than the rest of the world, and most of that is filtered through a colonial lens. I wanted the examples I shared to re-balance things and show gender diversity was and is a world-wide, natural phenomena.

Some amazing stories didn’t find space, like the Publick Universal Friend, who declared after an illness in 1776 that they had died and been reborn, and after that no longer identified as a woman (or a man), but presented as gender nonconforming. They rejected gendered pronouns and became the leader of a Quaker offshoot religious group in New York state, the Society of Universal Friends.***

The PBS Map of Gender-Diverse Cultures spotlights over 30 communities around the world that understand and honor gender as more than two options. But I didn’t want this book to feel like an encyclopedia. I wanted it to be nonfiction that was fascinating and offered a taste, maybe a start, for each reader’s own discovery. There’s a recommended resources section, and the endnotes are extensive—allowing everyone to learn more about what interests them most.

***Serena Dresslar, “Who Was the Public Universal Friend? Living Outside the Gender Binary in Revolutionary Times,” New York Public Library, Jan 13, 2023.

What do you hope readers come away with?

Trans and gender nonconforming people are under attack in the US today, both legislatively, socially, and physically. So much of the hateful rhetoric aimed at them is rooted in the lie that falling inside the two boxes of the gender binary is the only thing that’s ‘normal’—when ‘normal’ is actually really diverse.

I want gender diverse folks to feel seen, represented, and respected.

For those who do fall within one of the gender binary’s two boxes, when they encounter gender diverse language and people, I hope they allow themselves to be open, respectful, and welcoming.

For all of us, I want to show that the lines we’ve been taught to draw around gender are just that: imaginary lines that don’t need to hold us back. So much in Western society is gendered, but do we really need to gender soap? Nail polish? Toys? Colors? Clothing? The list goes on and on…

Ultimately, I want to empower every reader to know that however they identify, whatever their body’s characteristics, whatever their gender expression, whatever their gender identity, they belong in our human family. Gender diverse people are not alone in history—or now—and they are worthy of celebration.

Free Educator Resources

Download the free teaching guides for No Way They Were Gay? and The Gender Binary Is a Big Lie and give students new tools to critically think about these important ideas.

Praise for The Gender Binary Is a Big Lie

★ “An accessible, thorough, curiosity-provoking introduction to gender.” — starred, Kirkus Reviews

“Through unpacking the ancient yet ongoing human experience with gender, Wind presents an informative and approachable starting point for readers wanting to learn what gender really is and how it may apply to them.” — Booklist

“Edifying…reveals worlds in which gender nonconformity is celebrated.” — Foreword Reviews

“Perfect for a teen audience who can digest this information in chunks while learning a lot about the gender diversity that exists in humans and other biological species. It is also an excellent resource for anyone raised in the shadow of European colonialism to combat the pervasive idea that gender is either binary or a spectrum.” — School Library Journal

Connect with the Author