ISTE Shenanigans

Hey Internet Chums,

The Lerner Digital Booth

Last week I checked in with you at the halfway mark of the ISTE show in San Antonio. On Thursday, Digital Editor Ashley posted her own ISTE recap, containing actually useful information. Since that base has already been covered, I’m pretty much free to babble about whatever the heck I feel like, right? Right.

Adriano Demoing the iBooks

On our last night in town, four of us braved the sweltering heat on a quest to reach The County Line, a genuine BBQ spot nestled amongst the tourist traps that line the river walk. Digital Dan and I had been there previously; on Sunday night as well as during our first trip back in April. Having eaten there before, I knew what I was going to order before I walked in the door: A half rack of ribs with fries and cole slaw. A perfect amount of food for a satisfying Texas Pit experience. Unexpectedly, Ashley threw that plan out the window when, first to order, she asked for the full rack of baby back ribs!

Challenge Accepted: The Full Rack

Not wanting to be outdone by our smaller and far-less-masculine co-worker, Dan and I both accepted the challenge and ordered the full rack as well, firmly confident in our manly carnivoracity BBQ hubris. You can probably tell where this story is going, so we’ll skip to the chase: Ashley kicked our butts. Not only did she eat ALL of her ribs and salad and potatoes, but she sprang up from the table at the end of the meal, light on her feet and a smile on her face.


I barely touched my sides, and got about 2/3 of the way into the rack before calling it quits. I then watched as Dan, unwilling to admit defeat, wrestled with the insurmountable pork mound in front of him. Dan’s discomfort was palpable. As I watched, I could feel time slow, and the gravity of the meat increase. The meat sweats were getting to him. His every movement became deliberate, but his eyes– his eyes were wide and wild. In his mind, the barbeque battle was being played and re-played on all fronts, as he frantically searched for any stratagem that might lead to victory. But there was no hope. Though I dared not acknowledge it, I knew that each bite drew him closer and closer to his inevitable food coma. We lost a good man that day.

And that’s what happened at ISTE.

ISTE By the numbers:
Days in San Antonio: 5
Lerner staff in attendance: 6
Booth visitors: Thousands
iPods raffled off for attending iBook demonstrations: 12
Times I ate BBQ: 2
Times I ate BBQ and lost: 1
IPAs consumed by “Digital Dan” Wallek (he’s a tough guy): 20ish
Pina Coladas consumed by yours truly: 4, maybe 5. Shoulda been 10.

“Angry Dan” Enjoying a Fabulous Yogurt Parfait with his Mimosa

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