In addition to being the author of Sex & Violence, Carrie Mesrobian maintains a very funny Tumblr I’m not supposed to read:

But I do read it. I like the formula:

1. Find a picture of an attractive man. (The Internet haz these.)

2. Add a caption where he says something implausibly sensitive, solicitous, and/or witty about something you’ve done or that’s a source of consternation or whatever.

Even I can do it:

“Really. He made you watch that ugly old movie about freaks in nutcups beating up old men? Again? Forget about him. Tell me about those cowboy boots and Kenny Chesney’s mastery of the pentameter one more time?”

Except, apparently I failed on step one, because when I showed this to Carrie, she wrote, “Is that Kenneth Brannagh? Jesus.” (Maybe Dot Hutchison would have been more sympathetic.)

But maybe you can do better, and to incentivize you, I have five signed copies of Sex & Violence  to give away to Carrie’s favorite entries. I’ll also give you a theme to focus your efforts:

Conversations with My Fake Boyfriend About
My Real (or Fake) Editor

My example above would work as an entry for Carrie if she acknowledged Mr. Brannagh as fake boyfriend material (which she apparently does not). Submit your entry here. Carrie will pick winners on June 1.