Anonymity and Shoes—Red Suede


I’m sensing There is a deep and profound (read: confused) silence out in blogreaderland at this name. You’re wondering this: Louboutins? Really? How is that possible? I didn’t think they allowed that kind of style in the Midwest. Don’t the inhabitants wear only muck boots and old kangaroo sneakers? Maybe some puffy moonboots lined with old bread bags in the winter?

Well, sure, maybe those do get worn. But sometimes, on rare occasion, other shoes work their way past the Midwestern Shoe Border Patrol, and style makes its way in to our sad confines. In this particular instance, the owner of said shoes had to hide them in the false bottom of her suitcase when flying back from a New York City trip where said shoes were purchased. “Making it through customs was entirely nerve-racking” said the owner, who here would like to be known only as ddip to protect her identity.* ** She continued: “I was researching for our history of fashion book series and saw these shoes. They needed to come back to Minnesota with me! Smuggling them past the style-sniffing security dogs was tense (read: petrifying). Luckily, I had my muck boots*** in the false suitcase bottom too, helping mask the smell of red suede. My nervousness at smuggling I could—and did—pass off as flight anxiety. Once back in Minnesota safely, I managed to show the shoes to my cobbler under cover of night and shuttered window. He was blown away by my bravery at bring them to such a shoe barren landscape. It is only too bad I can never wear them outside, lest my smuggling be uncovered, and I, thrown in the dungeon with the seditious hooligans and pickpockets.”

Seriously though, we’re allowed to wear nice shoes here . . . but still shouldn’t wear them outside most winters. That can ruin an expensive pair of shoes right quick. We wear the winter boots (without bread bag linings) to work, then change into nice shoes once inside.

*You never know when the Midwestern Shoe Border Patrol will be surfing the interwebs for shoe violations.

**What, the Midwestern Shoe Border Patrol might be able to figure out who has these shoes by knowing initials and place of employment? Oh. Well, sorry Domenica.

***What’s that, Domenica? You don’t actually own any muck boots? And would like to make sure the readers know that? 

Photo courtesy Betsy Bird